The Wire

When do break ups get easier? Why is it easier for men to forget but we women hold on to all the memories, the sweet banter exchanges, the romantic looks, the annoying habits, and so much more.  I still have the parking ticket from the beach we went to 4 years ago while we were on our first away vacation. It was so nice so romantic.... Why does it hurt that someone you loved so much and thought you couldn't live without suddenly turns out to be someone so different. Was it another façade? Another fake love story made up in your head "fairy taled," Yes I am going through a break up or that's what I think it is. Love really is so over rated it is so fucked up. They don't make men like they used back in the day. The Cary Grant and Gone with the Wind love stories no longer exist. I pass by an old couple watch as they walk hand in hand and always wonder will I ever find that kind of love. Clearly it's not looking too hot. At 35 almost 36 I should stop dreaming. My ...

I can’t believe what is happening in our capital today. I am embarrassed by the acts of these cowardly ingrates. Today the very foundation of what this nation has been built on has been destroyed. Our democracy is in peril, it has been for many months, but today was the icing on the cake. We have a president that continues to incite hate. These protestors are destroying our capital and attacking our police because of him. I wonder if he will be held accountable?? I doubt it. Also, I thought Blue lives matter?? What happened to that??   I think the worse was when I saw an ingrate standing in the seat of the Speaker of the house.   The likes of Gorge Washington, Thomas Jefferson, RBG, and John Lewis would be saddened by todays images.  We are no longer a first world.   The world is laughing at us. We are an unstable nation who is now prey to destabilization and possible attack.   This is the perfect setting for nations like Russia and China.   Why wouldn’t th...

Hello friends! It has been awhile. A friend recently reminded me of my blog . He said I should get back to writing, he enjoyed my stories.  I used to love blogging and then life happened; family expectations, a career, and so much more. And yet..maybe I am lying a little.  Blogging reminds me of my old life, the one stained with pain that I have tried my best to forget.  My psyche has done a pretty good job in conquering the art of filing the past away deep into the embers of my mind.  The human mind is truly a mystery isn't it?  A lot has happened since my hiatus. Where should I start?  Politics has been fabulous and yes I know that sounds like an understatement.  Should we discuss the shitstorm that politicians like Trump and Boris have put us in? In our lifetimes will we see more screwed up leaders the likes of them? I pray we don't because I don't think the next generation will be able to handle it. And now unfortunately this pandemic which seems t...

Today is International Women’s Day. Last year I focused on women as a whole and spoke of the hardships some of us endure from single parenthood to dying in war torn nations. But this year I want to focus on the women, the girls, the prisoners of war, who are being treated like objects and are being sold into slavery and treated as sex slaves. These girls and women are being raped countless times every day and are giving birth to babies at young ages and dying during childbirth. These victims of sex slavery are not only traumatized physically but also emotionally. When, if they are released from their imprisonments’, they are not able to speak to their families of what really happened to them, rape, because if they do they’ll be cast away from their families because of their family honor. These women are told that being raped by a man or men is acceptable within Islam, this is false information. These women are the thousands and hundreds of thousands of Yazidi women who have been ...

I've been very silent these last few weeks, almost as if I am a new person, not the same as I have been this last year.  I wonder to myself lately whether or not this means I am healing because as they say "time heals all wounds." Or am I just running from my past by putting it aside and forcing myself to run, to run to a universe much different to the one I'm living in....I'm not sure... Lately I've been having a lot of dreams, for the first time in years I've been remembering little snippets of these dreams.  They are mostly of my past life, of my husband, of my first love, and of my childhood memories.  Maybe this is the way I'm coping with my past, by remembering all of these painful memories in my sleep.  Maybe my mind has latched on to which remedy is best for my heart, It's almost less painful when I dream of my husband because I can't feel that gut wrenching feeling of a blade cutting through my veins.  I don't know how I've m...

This afternoon as I was driving down the open fields of the long winding country road behind my house I was captivated by the icy green fields extending over miles and the glistening long river that ran through the fields.  I felt care free and at home surrounded by such beauty.  I suddenly realized how I had an endless list of possibilities ahead.  I thought of the journey I had ahead and the years of solitude I would have once I had done my job of being a mother.  But I did not want to sit in a quiet room sipping cups of tea and watching telly. I always knew that my life had a different purpose.  I wanted to be a voice for the voiceless in countries extending farther than the west.  I wanted to be centered right in the middle of a conflict and be a walking stick for the ones who had no one standing up for them.  My need to help people and my love for caring and giving kindness to others and being ever so forgiving is no longer a curse to me as I hav...

Last night as I drove through the busy lit roads looking at the bright evening sky with the wind blowing in my face I thought of you.  I thought of you and wondered where you were, what you were doing, what you were thinking, and if, just if, there were any ifs in your mind......On nights like this I feel like the skies above me feel my sorrow and yet somehow I feel free..maybe its because I feel one when immersed in such beauty or maybe because it's those times that I can be true to myself and you...who knows..but I still hear the voices and questions in my head, the minute I'm alone or lying in bed or when I open my eyes to the bright specks of sunlight streaming through my curtains and the innocent singing of the mockingbird outside my bedroom window, I hear them, it's as if with your exit came a new companion for me, my own companionship, my twin who always lived in my subconscious but far from haunting me, now she haunts me every day with her continuous questions....Wh...

So it's that time of the year again.  Cardigans, warm socks, big mugs of coffee and hot chocolate, nice quiet evenings by the telly or curling up to read a nice romantic novel, salting the driveway, waking up early to shovel the beautiful glistening snow in the early morning moonlight. Before we welcome Winter to our doors we must first welcome its best friend, Autumn.  I love Autumn mainly for  how crisp it feels in the morning and the bright vibrant colors the leaves change to.  I love watching my kids excitedly collect big gigantic leaves in all sort of colors and sizes so that we can make our Fall collage.  I like hearing the wind howl at night as it blows the leaves to and fro making all sorts of noises.  The colors that this season brings is just breathtaking, it makes you take seconds out of your days and evenings to marvel over God's creations...makes you realize that anything and everything is possible. And Fall brings with it a season of new be...

Sometimes I wake up and I miss you so much My eyes suddenly fill with tears and I find myself drunken in deep sobs Sobs that grow deeper and more raw each passing day I don't think the grief you've given me will ever leave my side It will never relinquish it's reigns from me Every time I think I'm moving one step forward I find myself ten steps behind This pain was inflicted by you and yet why do I still yearn for you Why do I find myself lost in your memories Why do I still hear your voice, smell your smell.... Why are you still in me... Each memory eats at me like a sharp dagger piercing through my heart at an unbelievable slow speed, wanting to make me feel each tear... This Is brutal, this is unending,  and the pain has too many sides.....

Liza quickly darted in between the bushes hoping to be as far as she could from the house and the rest of civilization. She wanted to be as alone and far as possible from them all. The looks of sympathy and pity were becoming the death of her. The voices of people and the looks they gave her were like ten deaths over and over again. It seemed that the world had reached a verdict and the verdict was that they would not let her grieve on her own. Liza As I ran down the hill and darted through the maze of bushes towards the cliff for a fleeting second I pondered over whether or not I should jump to my death. One jump would end it all. The looks of sympathy and disdain would forever be out of my mind. Lost in myself I suddenly came to an abrupt stop and was standing at the edge of the cliff. I took one step forward and looked down. It was a beautiful sight. The water was sparkling in the glorious sun as seagulls glided to and fro looking for their morning meal. The sky was painted so b...

There are many things the UK is good for and one of them is how the media allows the public to take national TV screens, set up panels, and voice their opinions... Of course in the UK there are two very big issues which affect all UK citizens, benefits and immigration. There are so many illegal immigrants living here in the UK under the radar of the UKBA who will eventually be caught and while they are hiding well earned tax payers money is going towards feeding them. And then you have another group of immigrants both within and outside of the Euro coming in to the UK legally however taking away all the jobs which you and I, citizens of the UK, should have to feed our families. But here’s the thing the British economy is thriving BECAUSE of these immigrants. They come into the country hoping to live the British dream by working hard and feeding their families so they are open to doing any job that is available to them. A lot of the jobs they have are low pay grueling jobs which most ...

It's been a long winter already...loads of holidays, sicknesses, clearing out, and now it's half term! Seems like the year is almost over, but it's just begun! We've gotten past all the New years stuff and just this week it was Valentines Day...or shall I say a malfunctioned store spending fake holiday! I don't understand this holiday at all or all the hoopla people make of it.  Are you saying that you love me the most only on this day??? I thought you loved me every day??!! And why buy me a red teddy, red roses, and a box of red roses chocolates?  Why not buy them for me every day :)    I'll be the happiest, reddest, and fattest chic around this end!  I think romance has become so fabricated these days what with all the break ups and make ups and money splurged on flowers and candy that real romance has flown right out the window.  Shall I tell you what my kind of romance is? The old fashioned kind..love letters, a written one, at least once a mont...

 gave you all I had I gave you my heart I gave you my life I gave you my soul I gave you my happiness I gave you my tears I gave you my hope And I gave you even  more But what did you give me? You gave me pain You gave me shame You gave me heartache You gave me burdens to carry You gave me loss You gave me lies You wrapped me with defeat You surrounded me with evil And then you vanished. And now I've grieved I've shed so many tears I've felt my heart shudder I've felt my body age I've felt my heart harden I have only one more space,  A space left unfilled A space filled with fear I'm afraid because of you The space I have is small but true I need truth. The one above,  only he knows I trust in him and him alone He is the judger of all judges Some day he will catch up with you It will be a day of great truth All my tears and heartache, They will wrap around you, And shake you in a fury,  And spread pain in every corner of your body, He will spread it to yo...

This week I had the honor of learning more about a new Non profit organization still in its early stages yet has been successful beyond words; this charity is called Project Akhirah. A very close friend and sister of mine, Amina Farah, first reached out to me to discuss Project Akhirah and her volunteer work with this incredible organization. Project Akhirah is very new and thriving and looking to get the word out of what their organization wishes to accomplish. I decided why not write a blog! I’m always looking for reasons to sit back and type away. Project Akhirah is a Non profit organization set up in 2013 by a group of young Muslimahs’ in hopes of making a difference in the lives of the less fortunate, those whose lives are laden with poverty and suffering.  However each of the girls were personally affected by the crisis in Syria in particular and felt it a responsibility to help towards this cause. As a group they had made pledges to raise enough funds to donate to the ...

You are as strong as the northwest winds yet tame as an early morning sunset creeping up in all corners of the world in the soft sensual way that you do.  When I watch you raise your beauty towards the skies I feel this innate sense of comfort spreading towards the deepest embers of my soul.  You put a smile on my face and the comfort of all comforts in my heart. But when pain suspends upon me in the deepest ways wounding me to a plane of never-ending infinity what am I to do? What do you expect me to do? I seem to be swaying senselessly in between different doors on different planes different from anything on this universe.   When I finally catch a glimpse of you and what is buried deep within this tree of passion I am completely and utterly dumbfounded.  Which plane do I hold my ground on? Which door of destiny must I cast my shadow through? Will I ever hear the much awaited whisper in the winds or shall I do what I always do? Shall I begin a new path? Or ...

Hello to all my readers. This blog post will be a tad bit different compared to my normal ones as it’s not fiction! The other day I was online checking out the photography page of a very talented photographer and I felt compelled to write a review of his business. Recently, July 2012 to be exact,  I attended a friend’s wedding and like all weddings there was a lot going on. One of the most important logistics of a wedding is having an exceptional photographer. I’m sure you can all agree on how endearing it is to capture the special moments on our very special day to treasure for the rest of our lives. Having a collection of these moments to look back on is absolutely priceless and even more so when the emotions taking place speak out through the images. Unfortunately not all photographers are gifted with this art; however I must say Photographer Amin Islam does an impeccable job in emulating this feat. The wedding photographer at the wedding, Amin Islam, seemed to know exact...

idden truths I try to bury it deep within the library of memories I keep filed away, in an effort to shield myself from the pain which gnaws at me time and time again, but I hopelessly fail. The need to look over my shoulder is crucial. One lost look and it will eat into the deep embers of my soul. When I am reminded an incomplete smile forms around the corners of my mouth before my face contorts and small drops of tears begin to fall down my downtrodden facade. I say downtrodden because the memories are as sweet as honey and yet bitter as a glass of lemonade on a hot summers day. Night Over head the rain drops form their own rhythm on the tin roof while outside in the courtyard the squishing of mud by the feet of rushed servants begins another. This song was the perfect lullaby, but my eyes would not give into temptation. The guests were outside scrambling for whatever shelter they could find from the splash of monsoon rains. I sat as upright as I possibly could but it was get...

The international community is concerned with consuming the highest degree of political and economical power as possible. Or they’re having a competition over who has the greatest Nuclear program at hand or which Palestinian refugee is climbing over some stupid wall, put up by a bunch of inhumane cold blooded rejects, to enter his OWN land. But they ignore the real issues at hand. There’s a disease right now that’s spreading at a very fast pace and this illness will most probably decimate the future of our world. Innocent children are being stripped of their childhoods and forced to work when they should be sitting in classrooms enjoying the fountain of knowledge. These children are our future; they are the next presidents, doctors, innovators, human rights activists who will someday change the lives of the generations before them and the ones to come. The practice of illegal child labour is widely practiced in Nepal, they’re known as Kamalaris, children forced into labour at young ...

If and when she mentions how she’s bored and would like to return to work her husband casts a disapproving look towards her and changes the subject or tells her she has no time to work.  He asks who will cook his dinner, who will serve his dinner, who will starch and iron his shirts, and who will do the housework.  When she says she can do it ALL and work, he tells her this is her job, taking care of the house and his needs...Load of Bs....I know Soon after she starts popping kids and then it’s all downhill... Some time down the road, after a few kids, this Stepford wife realizes she has no identity for herself, years have been wasted on a MAN, and she begins to resent him.  Now she has three roads to travel down, either she continues with life as it is or puts her foot down and begins to create her own identity outside the house or arguments develop, resentment deepens and the marriage ends..... Some of you might think a few of my descriptions are over the t...

It felt like a dream when I awoke.    I couldn’t believe I was in a luxurious suite here in Prague.    For the past two years I had been contemplating taking a vacation, but it was always something that would hold me back.    Tuesday evening after work I went out to dinner with Richard, my boss and close friend, and we got talking.    He was telling me about his last vacation and where he hoped to go this year.    I remarked on how lucky he was to have the time for all these escapades.    Richard put down his wine glass and cast an intent look on his face. “Grace, what’s the point of living life if you never take the time out to discover and enjoy it, “he said. “Besides I barely ever plan these holidays, they’re always at a moment’s notice.  It’s not really that hard booking a flight last minute and packing a bag,” he said smiling. “You should do it.  I’ve known you for the last three years and you’ve neve...