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Break Ups

When do break ups get easier? Why is it easier for men to forget but we women hold on to all the memories, the sweet banter exchanges, the romantic looks, the annoying habits, and so much more.  I still have the parking ticket from the beach we went to 4 years ago while we were on our first away vacation. It was so nice so romantic.... Why does it hurt that someone you loved so much and thought you couldn't live without suddenly turns out to be someone so different. Was it another façade? Another fake love story made up in your head "fairy taled," Yes I am going through a break up or that's what I think it is. Love really is so over rated it is so fucked up. They don't make men like they used back in the day. The Cary Grant and Gone with the Wind love stories no longer exist. I pass by an old couple watch as they walk hand in hand and always wonder will I ever find that kind of love. Clearly it's not looking too hot. At 35 almost 36 I should stop dreaming. My therapist says I need to focus on myself. I need to first love myself. Self love she says. I went to talk to a therapist one day, first time ever in my life.  Anyway, so I go to this therapist I take a seat in her dim lit office and she asks me to talk about myself. I hesitated how does one start off by talking about themselves!? I've always been very modest but as I started to share my achievements I felt proud of myself. I'm a fighter.  I've gone through so much in life. But then she started to delve in more ..after that first appointment I never went back. I realized therapy isn't my thing, But she was right , I need to focus on self love. Self love I find that so ironic... so many reasons why we don't practice self love. Covid being one of the main culprits, who's always happy these days with all the death we are surrounded by. I am planning on taking a trip though after this virus. Some where hot, sunny, and pretty! Till next time xoxo

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